I can't feel my face and I have to learn how to do makeup all over again! Oh, and no more glaring at inconsiderate people or frowning at my daughter. My face can't make those expressions. And don't ask about my hair. I'm sure those patches will grow back *sigh*.
I decided not to blog during the first few weeks of surgery
recovery. There was far too much to
absorb and recovery took enough of my energy to keep activities at a minimum. I did share a picture of myself on Facebook only a few
days after surgery and managed a few appearances at social activities during the
holidays.
I feel ready to take the time, now, and record what has been
happening, how I’ve been feeling, what was affected by surgery, and what my
goals are. And thank you all for your
continued support and especially my best friend, Nicole, for looking after me
almost around the clock during those first three miserable days (I did try to
let her sleep).
Firstly, I wanted to say I completely underestimated the impact of my surgery. Today
marks three weeks in recovery. There
are still a lot of things I can’t do. I
picked up my daughter from the airport and we went grocery shopping. She had to carry all her suitcases and had to
carry the grocery bags as well!
The last major surgery where general anesthesia was
administered to me was in 1995 when my wisdom teeth were removed. Though I did my best to be prepared for this
one, the discomfort and weakness was so uncustomary that it caught me by
surprise. Luckily my surgeon put a lot
of attention into preparing and educating me on what to expect. It may seem as though cosmetic surgery isn’t
as serious as having something vital fixed, but it is every bit the same. I underestimated how serious and real this
was going to be. Nonetheless I have
recovered remarkably well and am steadily getting back to a normal activity level (anyone picturing a three-toed sloth as my normal energy level will be pinched!).
Though I had several facial procedures planned I expected
only a modest change. I assumed the breast
augmentation would be more dramatic. I have found it to be very much the reverse. The differences in my face are amazing. My friends have unanimously remarked at the changes. I’m looking forward to the result after full
recovery. And I have not experienced any
nervousness, depression, or stress from the changes in my appearance. Thankfully, because it is a common occurrence
in post-surgery patients. I can say this
is the way I am on the inside and the way I want to express myself to the
world.
Somewhere along the way I got the idea that recovery was ‘done’
after 3 weeks and the rest was just lingering, long term, minor healing. Again, I far underestimated
post-surgery needs. I say this to
anyone considering cosmetic surgery.
Take it seriously and plan to be unavailable to work or friends for no
less than 2 weeks. I’m at the very end
of week three and just now feeling a return of my stamina and energy. I am still bruised and very obviously healing
from a traumatic experience. There are
still stitches in places and soreness and numbness all over. I thought I was being generous with my
healing time, but truthfully I should have taken another week away from work.
The first couple days after surgery I was still flailing from anesthesia and couldn’t accurately discern my feelings.
I did see myself in the mirror, but there was too much swelling and
bruising to be able to look beyond at the changes. Notice I keep saying changes or differences and not improvements? Am I ecstatic at the ‘new’ me? No, that really isn’t my style. Everyday, though, my smile gets a little bigger and I
am pleased with the results more and more.
As healing and time progresses that feeling is translated into a sense
of wellbeing and happiness. Which, in my opinion, is far
more rewarding in the long run. I think
a few of my friends are waiting for the jump up and down and shout and
celebrate response. Let me say there
will be no jumping for a looong while (ouch!) and I can’t shout because parts of my
face are too tight (teasing, but no really).
I am celebrating and marveling at the success and magnitude of the
changes to my face and body. We’ll save
the rest for a one year anniversary or something.
How does this surgery and the resulting changes affect my goals? The biggest impact, honestly, is
financial. Beyond that, once healing is
more complete and I’m not absorbed in caring for my wounds, I suspect my female
role in society will be more cemented and comfortable. To have outsides matching my insides is a big
step. Over the last year I’d already
become much more natural as a woman and had very little trouble ‘blending’. So it won’t be a shocker to continue being
treated that way. My goals are still
to trim up and keep fit, maintain my mental acuity, be a positive
role model among community and peers, and explore my spiritual awareness of the
world. My outlook hasn’t changed, only
what I look out of!
I do hope to continue blogging and assume inspiration will come as it always has. And I wish all of you
a happy and productive 2014.
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